Our motives dictate the climate of our relationships. Good motives are those that are put forth with honestly. The bad motives are always hidden. We classify the bad guys (or girls) and the good guys (or girls) by their motives and how they go about accomplishing them. No gender is immune to these behaviors. The reality is that we all have an agenda, whether or not we’re forthcoming about it is usually the dealmaker or deal breaker.
Recently, in the shower (where I get all my great ideas), I thought of an analogy. I thought to myself that bad guys run sprints, and good guys run marathons. When I say “guys,” I am referring to ladies as well. Bad guys are people who have bad or dishonest intentions and, in turn, get quick results. The bad guys seemingly don’t suffer the same emotional distress as the good guys do. “Everyone knows that all girls go through their ‘bad boy stage.’ But, what many people don’t realize is that this phase extends well on into their early 20s and college years. So, when we say good guys have to run a marathon, it also has to do with the type of girls they are dealing with, and a level of maturity and time, period,” says junior Vickie Cadestin. Vickie went on to say, “Just as it is hard to find a good guy out there, it’s just hard to find a good girl because most girls haven’t reached that level of maturity. That’s why it’s easier for women to give into these so-called ‘sprinters’ because they know what they have to offer, and it’s already out on the table. Most girls don’t want to take the time out to learn about these bad guys before they get into something serious.”
To deceive someone eventually leads to getting caught if you’re careless. Your bad guys usually dont care enough to at least be careful. These people are usually shortsighted, which leads to quick results and quick demises. Chances are that bad guys have lust-based motives. Within these lust-based motives, many times people’s best interests are not at heart. I’m not calling it right or wrong, it’s just more of an issue of being up front about intentions.
As a good guy, you’re automatically in a little more of a vulnerable state from jump street, being that you may be more inclined to become emotionally involved. When I refer to good guys and marathons, it means they really do win in the long run, and that’s their motives. “Based on my experiences, I wouldn’t say good guys get good results in the long run. Your bad guys will always have an advantage; since they don’t get emotionally involved, they can never really be hurt,” says junior Schavon Greene. A good guy’s motives are honest but, sometimes, can be overlooked. Motives are really the name of the game, and they dictate longevity of relationships as well. When motives are based less on lust and more on genuine interest and care, you are looking at a way more healthy relationship. These elements can also breed into possible love.
So, what’s the result? Your bad guys get what they want, and they probably get it quick. Ultimately, their credibility is in question, and they hurt good people in the process. They lose respect from those affected or even from their peers. The good guys stay true to themselves. They take the licking, but, I believe, they are ultimately appreciated. Junior Anny Jules said, “I see myself as one of the good ones who continuously get attracted to bad guys who are inconsistent with their love.” She also said that, “of course, in the heat of the moment, you say good people finish last, and I don’t want to be good; however, when you sit back and think about your worth, you realize you are the bigger person, and, in time, you will get much better if you allow yourself to do so.”
Good guys are different; they’re more compassionate and are stronger than you may think. My moral for you is to be a respectable man or woman and be straight up about your intentions. As we get older, we have a responsibility to each other to manage each others’ emotions as we’d like ours handled. This too is a practice, but you have to start somewhere.
I thank you all for reading this semester, as this is my final issue of my column and of my college career. Enjoy your summer; shout outs to this class of 2011.
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