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Relationship Column: It’s That Time

Alex Parker

I was looking through Kahlil Haywood’s former column, “Damn He Got a Point” (last year’s relationship column), in the hope that something would spark an idea for this week’s column. I stumbled across one entitled, “Red Alert!” It was the possibility of girls becoming extraordinarily bitchy when their time of the month rolls around. He suggested that it’s something we can control and therefore, we should keep ourselves in check.

Ha! As if we could do so if we tried. It’s not as if we wake up in the morning and say to ourselves, “Ya know, I have acutely sharp, debilitating cramps so I think I’ll be a completely irrational raging bitch today to make up for it.” Sorry fellas, that’s not really how it works. If you knew anything about getting your period, you’d know that during that time our hormones are out of control. This causes us to be overly emotional and sometimes even irrational. We may overreact and be somewhat bitchier than usual.

With all due respect to Kahlil, do not suggest that this is something that we can control. It isn’t. It’s not that we like seeming like a complete basket case. But I speak for women everywhere when I say that none of you have any idea what having your period is like. For some of us. it’s excruciatingly painful. Also, it’s not like we have too much of a warning when it’s coming; we don’t. It just shows up. I think if something like that happened to you guys, you would flip out and cry like a baby too. So really, cut us some slack. We suffer for one week out of the month, every month of the year, for years and years of our lives. For lack of a better phrase, it sucks.

We cannot help the craziness. Somewhere deep inside, we know that we shouldn’t act like total nutcases and, chances are, whatever we are yelling at you for, it is superfluous. Do yourself and us ladies a favor, just nod your head and agree with us. Do what you can to keep the peace. You should have a good idea of when our time is coming.

If you don’t, here are a few things to look out for. One, we start to get a tad bit more expressive before the typhoon of emotions floods us. Two, a good number of girls get cravings. For example, the women in my gene pool tend to load up on chocolate, however some prefer salty snacks. I’m sure none of us would be opposed to both.

This brings me to another question: What is the voodoo that surrounds tampons? Why is it such a terrible thing for you, as a male, to go to the store and buy us a box of tampons? What, do you think the cashier is going to think that you have your period? Quite unlikely, gentlemen. Take it from someone whose bought plenty of boxes of tampons, there are worse things in the world. Help us out every now and then.

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