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Relationship Column: Stalker Status?

Alex Parker

I think it’s pretty safe to say that everyone gets a pang of jealousy every now-and-then. Some definitely get it worse than others; for some people, it is an innate characteristic that they encounter every day, especially when it comes to their boyfriend or girlfriend. We all have a friend like this; we’ve witnessed the “green monster” that takes over them. Sometimes people even go so far as to hack into their significant other’s Facebook account, or go through their text messages.

What is it that you are really looking to find? If your spouse is talking to someone else, is that really the way you want to find out? (Not that there is a good way to find out that kind of information.) This is a trait that I’ve seen in my friends, mostly the girls, more than once.  Most of my guy friends that have a jealousy issue usually just keep their girls on a rope so tight that I’m surprised they haven’t lost all their oxygen yet.

One of my girlfriends has done it to every boyfriend she’s ever had because her first love cheated. Now she suspects that all guys are going to do the same thing and  she thinks that by going through all their stuff will keep her one step ahead,  so she doesn’t get hurt like that ever again. But, is that really keeping her one step ahead, or is she setting herself up for a doomed relationship because it is built on all the wrong things?

Trust is imperative for any relationship to work. If you feel like you have to be a private investigator in order to trust your boyfriend/girlfriend, you have a large problem on your hands.  It is also fair to mention that, by doing what you’re doing, you seem slightly insane and paranoid. I understand that problems in past relationships may cause you to feel insecure about current ones, but I don’t see how that gives you the right to go through someone’s belongings. You may be seen as more of a stalker than a boyfriend/girlfriend.

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