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Relationship Column: Tell Me What I Want

Alex Parker

I’ve always thought that boys had no clue how our brains worked; that men really were from a different planet or something. But now I’m starting to think that they may understand us a little better than I had anticipated. Ladies, don’t worry, I’m not saying they completely get us and they’re going to get everything perfect. I know that will never happen unless we find ourselves cast in a Disney movie and even then the handsome prince usually messes up once or twice before getting it right.

Hear me out though. As I’ve stated in previous articles, us females have a lovely tendency to fall for the bad guy, the guy who essentially has a billboard screaming heartbreak over his head. They have to be doing something right, don’t they? If they weren’t, we wouldn’t get involved with them in the first place. Well, my friends, I’ve figured it out.  Those sneaky little you know what’s have figured out the way our minds work.

They tell us exactly what we want to hear. Those buffoons have mastered the female psyche. A few days of being told how beautiful (not pretty, because they know beautiful sounds better) and different we are followed by a few days of silence will drive us batty and we’ll keep coming back for more. Their genius doesn’t end there. They will come up with some profound excuse as to why we were ignored; some asinine tragedy occurred, a distant relative got sick; the list goes on and on.

If you’re anything like me, you’ll question it at first but end up telling yourself that you’re being overly critical because the guy had already told you how “wonderful” you are. And we will just do this over and over again until we lose our minds. It’s all a big heaping load of garbage.

Looking back, I should have listened to my dad when he told me that guys don’t mature until they’re about 30 or 32. I would have saved so much time and energy. Of course we are all convinced that we found that one in a million guy at first, it’s new and exciting. The chance of them actually being that remarkable is slim to none at our ages.

I don’t have much hope that reading this article or any of the previous ones I’ve written on similar topics will be of much help. They are true masterminds; every word is plotted and strategic. The best part about this whole thing is that girls are still under the impression that they have the upper hand. As a gender, females will continue to be stupefied by a pretty face and an elusive compliment. Sorry ladies, for now the power is theirs because we give it to them.

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